So as I was thinking about why I am blogging the other day, several reasons came to my mind through question-scattered prayers…why am I even doing this? Will anyone even read it? Do you want me to write, Lord? How can I bring you glory through it when it seems to point to me and my life even when I desire for it to point to you? I’m so passionate about You, about the husband and kids you have given me…will it sound like I have it all together? You know I dont…Silence preceded the shiver-whisper, and then it was there… “You don’t get to write because you did it all right, but because My grace covered what you did wrong.” Whew! Whew! Whew! And so I write. I write because I am full of passion, and passionate people screw things up. Ever hear of Peter? Yeah, I’m kind of like Peter that way. One thing is clear: Peter loved his Lord….passionately. In fact it was Peter, through the inspiration of the Holy Spirit, who penned one of my two life verses and is what I decided to name this entire blog after, “Though you do not see Him, you love him, and though you cannot see Him now, you believe Him and rejoice with joy inexpressible and full of glory” (1 Peter 1:8). You see, the Lord has intricately woven my life together in such a way that even in all of my past sin, choosing wrong when I should have chosen right, selfishness, unkind words, and pride, it is a wildly beautiful life because when my Abba looks at me, He sees Christ. Since the moment He transferred Christ’s righteousness to me in the gift of salvation, he has been righting my wrongs. He knew back then I would still disrespect my husband, act selfishly as a wife and mother, become irritated with my kids, judge other believers, desire my own way, shift blame, and relentlessly celebrate me in manipulative pity parties. None of these things were the wildly beautiful part. The wildly beautiful part came and continues to come with God’s undeserved kindness towards me when I act this way. Because He has promised to finish the good work He has started at me, he just won’t leave me in my sin. His glory is at stake. So what does He do? His Holy Spirit graciously reminds me that I have sinned against a Holy God in actions, words, or attitude of heart and that I must confess and repent. So when I say something hurtful, unkind or manipulative to my husband in order to get my way, I must first go to the cross recognizing my own depravity, and secondly to my husband admitting my sin and asking his forgiveness. Something wildly beautiful happens as sin and forgiveness collide. Expressions of grace awaken the senses in these collisions. God becomes more real, love deepens, souls are cleansed, and a bit more of his glory passes by as he holds us safely in the cleft of the rock. This is the wildly beautiful part. So I write….because of Him and He is right. So right.
consumed in his love. Really.