The following blog was inspired by four different sources intricately woven together and thoughtfully sorted through over the last few days….1) I am desperately trying to stay in tune with my emotions as I enter into my empty nest season and so I am reflecting a lot. 2) I had a conversation with my younger sister yesterday and we talked about these things. 3) I had the gift of sweet prayer time with one of my most cherished friends this morning, whose kids I get to pray for and sometimes even lug around her youngest with me. 4) Ann Voskamp greatly inspires me in my writing.
So here you go:
Don’t try and live tomorrow today…
If there is any experienced advice, any humble wisdom to be passed on, any truth to speak into an anxious Mama’s heart, it would be this…don’t live tomorrow today…. Living tomorrow today robs. Living tomorrow today breeds anxiety, performance, worry, fear. Living tomorrow today teaches children to grow up and be somebody tomorrow while stealing from them who they are today. Living tomorrow today steals joy…quiet locked eyes ….windows into love….the study of a dimple….curves of eyelashes, and tracing a mole or string of freckles….a mark of you now stamped on them. Living tomorrow today hears a distant quiet question playing on repeat…. drowned out by tomorrow and leaves a conversation of curious forgotten…why do spiders have webs? Who feeds the animals? And when can I see God? Can I sell marshmallows to the neighbors? Why are you mad, mom? And questions that find their answers in the patience of a five year-old’s daily check-in with a tightly wrapped cocoon…..who somehow understands the innocent secret of not rushing God…. Waiting for wings… Living tomorrow today won’t remember trufulla trees and Loraxes….every.single.night….all 365 of them. Living tomorrow today takes prayer into the future instead of the present. Living tomorrow today makes you crave instead of not wanting. Living tomorrow today demands answers…..that today can’t rest in. Living tomorrow today doesn’t hear….see….touch….taste or smell…. NOW. Living tomorrow today can’t leave dishes for tomorrow or laundry for another day….trading it in for a walk to the pond just to hear the song of the bullfrog, or trace God’s outline of black and yellow lines against orange on the belly of a turtle. Living tomorrow today doesn’t race in a blizzard….and stare in wonder at gigantic woven flakes of cold white….or create the smell-memory of butter mixed with sugar and vanilla welcoming a tired third-grader on a chilly fall day at four. Living tomorrow today doesn’t enter into six year old giggles and 4 year old meltdowns….and stir pancakes together. Living tomorrow today can’t become… and be shaped in the moment…because it looks to a picture of having become something tomorrow sells. It doesn’t watch the ant tunnel, or strawberries turn red, or watch blooms awaken and slowly unfold in warmth and glow….or hummingbirds hover…it doesn’t hear the worship song of the cardinal, or see the dance of the willow tree…..or smell the wind. It doesn’t say goodnight to tired skies being gently tucked in by God in glowing blankets of purple and pink….and how will it ever find out if your five year old likes butter by the reflection of a weed on his milky white chin? Living tomorrow today doesn’t leave grass stains and dirt and popsicle drips resting on piles….so it can snap smiles….for pictures in frames. It misses bike rides in pajamas through snoring neighborhoods under curious stars. It doesn’t see God in handprints on windows…..and toothpaste on countertops and rings in bathtubs…..it misses conversations with 14,15,16,17,18 and 19 year olds when terrified of tomorrow need you today….Tomorrow reaches when today teaches….the humble amazement and wonder of God’s Father-heart. “For this reason I say to you, do not be worried about your life, as to what you will eat or what you will drink; nor for your body, as to what you will put on. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothing? Look at the birds of the air, that they do not sow, nor reap, nor gather into barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not worth much more than they? And who of you be being worried can add a single hour to his life? ……do not worry then, saying, What will we eat? or what will we drink? or what will we wear for clothing? For the Gentiles eagerly seek all these things; for your heavenly Father knows that you need all these things. But seek first His kingdom and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. So do not worry about tomorrow for tomorrow will take care of itself…” Matthew 6:25-34.